Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

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Why did the man cry when he went to the doctor? He has a terminal illness progressed to the point of cure and would die in 3 hours.

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Women's Rights.

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What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A guy walks into a bar what does he say? OW.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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u jelly?

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Whats worse then the quote "Do it, hit her!" The quote "Do it, Hitler!"

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Q: whats better than having sex? A: nothing

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had Gonorrhea.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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You know whats worse than getting punched in the face? Getting kicked in the balls.

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A gay guy and a blind man walk into a bar. It's a gay bar. The blind man is also gay.

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pilot.

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So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

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If she is under the age of 18 years old and is identified by your state as a minor, shes too young for you bro.

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Joe used to always talk about his family and his two wonderful kids Joe can no longer talk to or about his family because his smoking habits have gotten out of control

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I dont hate you Lets just say if you were on fire and i had water id drink it

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on a stool? Ask them kindly to do so. Their sexual orientation is of little to no importance in this situation.

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Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

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What is orange and smells like a jewish cat. Nothing

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Knock knock Who's there? Hector Hector who? ....I forgot the rest of the joke but your mom is a whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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