what did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? cancer

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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There's two homosexuals having sex in the back of a van...........they're over 21 what's wrong with that!

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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What worse than rain Osama Bin Laden

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How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

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How old is your mom? Old.

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What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

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How can you shed 10 pounds in one day? Get your legs amputed.

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My mom fell on our cat and it died.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Where can find a man who owns a white van capable of transporting many children? Most local churches have them for mission work. I would contact a local minister.

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i have an apple. now suck my dick

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No.

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Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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Why did the terrorist miss the flight he was supposed to blow up? He forgot his passport.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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Why can't a Tyrannosaurus-Rex clap? It's Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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