Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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One day a man was out fishing in the lake. Suddenly, there was a huge fish pulling his fishing pole so hard it almost broke. Luckily, he managed to pull the fish into his boat. It was the biggest fish he had ever caught and he brought it home for his family to see. They were all very proud.

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so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

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What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

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What happend to the gay kid that walked into iran. He got shot and killed ????

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool The tragic drowning of a quadrapalegic

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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Me: Sometimes I like to talk to myself. Me: So do I.

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My nigga so racist he killed a man cause he was white.

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Ching Chong Chinaman is sitting on a wall. People make fun of his name because it is so unusual.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a serial rapist.

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What's the deal with airplane food? I've never tried it. I'm just curious how it was.

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What was the last thing the clown said to his wife before she died? Rebecca, just stay with me, the ambulance is almost here.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

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Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You were adopted and I couldn't think of a good way to tell you...

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Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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