Your Momma is so old, she started exercising more and eating healthier to increase the chance of her living long enough to enjoy your own children's lives.

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What is blue and flies across the room? A baby with a punctured lung.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Chickens live in farms, they don't cross roads.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

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brock has small hands for a small job

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What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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why did the man start living on the street? he lost his job, his wife left him, and had his identity stolen.

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How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

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Justin Bieber is having sex with a girl. He then awakes from this horrible nightmare.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

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a robber walks into a bank. he steals everything and kills the guards

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whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts. whats worse than 2 holocausts? i rotten banana. whats worse than a rotten banana? 2 rotten bananas.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To be continued.

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What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

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Knock Knock Who's There?? Its the police your family have died in a tragic road accident

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What's white and capable of flash photography? A pony, I lied about the photography.

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Q: Were did suzy go after the explosion? A: Everywere

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That's a rhetorical question chickens don't cross roads!

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How do you get a Mother out of a tree? Ask them to come down, because it is really not socially acceptable for a responsible adult to be climbing trees.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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guess what no i know what your thinking, its NOT chickenbutt. its that tomorrow i have a math test. that sucks.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 6's boss, has been sexually assaulting 6 for years at work, but 6 needs the money too bad to say anything or quit his job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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