Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

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What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

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Mexicans are like waffles

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69

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

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Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

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Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black.

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What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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