When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red Violets are blue I picked them in the meadow this morning

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A midget walks into a bar. No one cares.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of problems with money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is matt dalys favorite thing in the world? penis

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -8

*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

slaughter the mussies #EDL

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what did the horse say after the man told him to have a good day? nothing, horses dont talk.(:

thumb_up thumb_down -10

An asian is driving a car. He observes the speed limit and uses his turning signals while switching lanes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how do you stop a bus? shout FOR ALLAH!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? She said she can do 3

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into a bar. He is genetically predisposed to alcoholism, and it's destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

thumb_up thumb_down -12

So I was sitting in the doctor's when I noticed a guy sitting about two seats down, wearing a sombrero and pouring salt over himself. Then I found out I had cancer and promptly lost all interest in him.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A tiger walks into a bar, the patrons ran out terrified.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops