Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

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Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Actually it is,how may i help you?

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on a stool? Ask them kindly to do so. Their sexual orientation is of little to no importance in this situation.

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What white and black and red all over? The wife who refused to report that her husband abused her.

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What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

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A large man goes into a restaurant and places his order The waiter asks if he would like the weight watchers menu He says no because he doesnt care about his weight

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pinky ponky went a bit wonky oh no plz dont go or i will rape you untill you know

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Snarf Nuggets

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

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why did susie fall off the swing? she had no arms and no legs. knock knock who's there? not susie

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Rick santorum

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When life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians.

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why did the chicken cross the street i dont know thats why im asking you

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What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

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Q. Why does Samuel Jackson always play a black guy? A. Because he's black.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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wanna no wats not funny........ aids

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Take this and put it- No.

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whats wors than getting hit by a car? getting raped by a giant scorpian

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How old is george washington? anyway thats not the point your pregnant

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What's worse than shoveling dead babies??? Using a pitchfork...

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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