Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

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There Are 2 People A lack Person And A White Person, The Black Person Looks Over At The White Person And Said, "Hi Tyrone!"

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What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

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(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

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What's the difference between liberals and communists? Nothing.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Captchas.

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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What did the Lightning Bolt say to the Thunder Cloud? WATTSup?

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Six Jews get on a train. They all safely arrive at their locations.

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Q: What's the difference between a duck? A: An orange.

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Why can't George Washington drive? Because he died!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

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What did Jesus REAREAREAREVENAGNCEREALLY SAY when he was walkin on da waterz? And I bless this object which shalth now be known as the surfboard, Amen. Seriously, im a Christian, that sounds kinda cute in a weird way... Like aww, thats why he walked on water, not because of terrifying super powers.

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"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

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Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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Who is the fastest man on earth? To get to the other side.

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How many people does it take to drive a car? 1 person

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What's worse than genital warts? Herpes. You can get rid of warts

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Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

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Dogs in my home.

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What did the skeleton say when he was horny? Nothing. Skeletons are not living and therefore cannot be horny.

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Human: "Panda get off that slide! Your a panda, you don't understand gravity!" Panda: g=9.81 m/s squared. Human: Oh, I see, carry on.

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Whats worse than a clock with no hands? Your mom with cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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