What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

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whats funny? a relatsion ship for 16 hours

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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how do you make a mailman mad? you sleep with his wife

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Batman and Superman switched sidekicks. Superman didn't want Robin.

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What's the best Medieval job? A Jester because you get to play with balls all day.

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Yo' Momma is so fat she weighs a lot!

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? a deer...

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and deaf, and to put her behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle would be extremely dangerous.

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Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so good at shake-a-weight? He is in shape.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Roses are red. Violets are red. I have a gun. What did i do?

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Yo mamma's so fat it's a legitimate medical condition

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Q. did u see Stevie wonders new house A. no me. neither did he

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head

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What are the four season of Canada? Cold, cold, cold and road work.

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Studies show that 95% of house fires are caused by fire.

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How do you make sushi if you are a fish? Commit suicide and sell yourelf to a sushi resturant!

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What happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall? He hurts his face.

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wanna no wats not funny........ aids

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Why was it true for sure? It was on wikipedia.

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hey do you eat out a woman properly? you cook her first and then eat her. -jeffery dahmers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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