A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

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What's worse than finding a Worm in your Apple? being Mauled to death.

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Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

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How do we achieve world peace? KILL EVERYBODY. Nobody can fight when they're dead.

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A policeman walks into a bar. He goes inside to greet his friend who happens to be the bartender. Another man walks into the bar. This man is a regular customer and goes to the bar almost every other night. The policeman leaves and goes back on duty.

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What do you call an Irish man with no legs? Handicapped

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Why did the surrealist go to the doctor? Knock Knock.

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you know whats funny the letter Q

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What's grey and can't fly? A Parking Lot.

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WHY DID THE WHITE MAN TALK TO THE BLACK MAN TO LIGHTEN HIM UP

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Yo mamas so fat We are all concerned for her health

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What did the gay man do last night? Had a curry

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Penis

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Look how far I can kick this bucket

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How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who?

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Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's starting to get really hot in here." The other muffin says, "MUFFINS CAN TALK?!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was a cold day

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What do homeless people get at Christmas? Cold.

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What's the difference between your cat and mine? Yours has legs.

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Why did the soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin

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What is sad about a kid dying in a bus accident? The other 20 survived

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops