one day ill be as old as you but you'll be older then too.

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:y do people talk? ;idk :oh then nevermind

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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Whats worse than a clock with no hands? Your mom with cancer.

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whats polish and black a polish black person

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Whats brown and sticky? A peice of poo

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What's the difference between and indian man and a barstool....... indians walked on the moon with a cow named chester.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Sunflowers are red. My garden is on fire.

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you know what they say about men with big feet... damn you got some big feet.

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What did your mom say after she went sky diving? Nothing, her parachute didn't open

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

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What do you call a guy wearing a white leisure suit? Mister Rourk? No, you call the dud wearing the white duds.

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there is a black guy riding a bicycle. he is extremely skilled on it and says he has never fallen off.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

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Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

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What's a fail with a bowl on its head, a 30 year old, and a 5 year old at the same time? Justin Beiber

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what did binladin say when he got to hell? oh no. im in hell

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Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Guess no ones home.

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sticks and stones may break my bones but hemophilia will make me bleed to death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops