Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

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Several men are in a bar a tall white man named James orders a round of shots for all of the people they all have a fun time untill James gets into a car with Derrick who is not sober they drive right into a sick childrens hospital and cause many frantic wild fires throughout the town. They all end up in jail for an unrelated cause

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so dont touch it.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? He was Happy

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Q. What do you get when a banana and a person mate? A. The banana suffocates

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Roses are red Violets are blue I kill children dont worry about it

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Once you buy it, you will get a 365 day warranty or a 1 year warranty, whichever comes first

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Jersey Shore

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guess what my nephew said today? oh ya i forgot, hes dead..

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--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

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What did the dead person say? Nothing, dead people cant talk, coz they are dead

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Who's black, white and Asian at the same time? A panda.

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Give me thumbs up!

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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whats worse than finding out you have Alzheimer's? Finding out you have Alzheimer's

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The POLICE, now open the god damn door!

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Five Mexicans were driving down the motorway in a Ford. Must've been a Fiesta.

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What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Therefore no one knew why his name was Fuzzy Wuzzy.

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Got no dick? Then you're probably a girl.

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Why did osama bin laden cross the road? To commit suicide

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These Jokes suck.

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What was the Latino man doing on my laptop? He was my friend and he had asked me first. He was also ordering a computer on amazon for himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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