Yo mama so fat, that when she wore a blue swimsuit to the beach and swam, the Blue Whales started sing, "WE ARE FAAMILY...EVEN THOUGH UR BUGGER THAN ME!!!"

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I Have a Black Friend

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Patriarchy.

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Bin Laden: dang, these pizza guys are so late, this pizza better be free! door: Ring ring ring.. Bin Laden: yes its finally here!

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What's the worst part about being drunk? Your child.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your family is dead. Your family is dead, who? Your family is dead.

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Women's rights.

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Lets go Yankees

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Like this joke, bitch.

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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What I have learned about the Japanese studying video games and anime (read below for more, better studies): Student at school: USING PENN TO TYPU! USING PEN TO TYPU! Teacher: No Susaki San! You must onry yell the name of attakus! You suspension get! Student: JOSH! I CHARRENGE YOU TO MORTAR KOMBAT! Teacher: KAAAAAAAAMEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEE! Student: FINAL FRAAAAAAASH! Student and teacher: Locked into energy wave combat for several hours. Teacher: Puh... Lets rather settle this with a round of Shaolin Soccer... Student: VICTOLY! Me: Well I saw a disturbing lot of Japanese people cosplay dressed as zangief... Skinny guys with fake chesthair and red hair that kept posing with their (nonexistent) muscles and yelling RED CYCRONE! Wanting me to take pictures of them... And Japanese lolitas, and blonde girls called Ganguro... Weirdest trip ever... They also kept Looking at Emanuel my (black) friend, and assumed he was my servant... Conclusion: My real trip to Japan was not so different from my above example as one might think...

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What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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why does jake have so many guns? hes compensating

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Sticks and stones can break my bones Well maybe you shouldn't play in the tree anymore

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What's small and red that sits in a corner? A baby with a razor blade.

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What did the officer say to the black man? You're under arrest.

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Jerry.

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When life gives you lemons, you realise that life isn't a physical object and therefore you have problems. Have a nice day.

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NASCAR

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I dont know, are you a tomato?

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Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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