- I'm in my mum's car, broom broom. - Get out me car. - Aw.

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You know what they called Obama in highschool? Nigge*

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Sticks and stones can break my bones And words can make me lonely

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Why do women why perfume and make up? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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Q) Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest A) Real Joke : Because the parrots-eat-em-all

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why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why was the little girl happy? because she found an icecream cone

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A homeless man walks into a house He is invited to a lovely lunch and then beaten to death

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick, and could not speak during the last few weeks of his life.

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What did a fireman say to his wife right after they got ran over by a stampede of bulls? nothing.... they were dead.

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Did you hear about the man with 3 balls? He liked tennis

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A man is on a date. His philandering causes a bitter divorce.

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oooh look a banshee

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmicist.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat

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Why couldn't the boy write his name because he had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

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Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

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What do you call a black priest who's name is John? Father John

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what time does the japanese guy go to the dentist? well his appointment was for 11:30, so he might show up approximately 5 minutes prior to the appointment time, just to make sure everything goes steadily as planned

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I'm not creative Roses are Blue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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