Rose's are red, Violet's are blue, I have a gun... Get in the van!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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How does the cow say cash i dont know ask him he is the cow.

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Q: What's better than the Call Me Maybe video? A: A shot-for-shot parody of it featuring a GIMP! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFxnAITCv5o

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why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

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Why shouldn't you play poker in the woods? Due to the stereotypical lack of human population in such an area, it would be excruciatingly difficult to find a partner with which to play competitive card games. I suggest trying solitaire instead.

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What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

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Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweat and so are you

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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How did the blond become a lawyer? She didnt. After many years of collage and studying, she broke down and quit, and became a stripper.

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

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Why did the boy laugh? Mr Tickle was his babysitter

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What did the cashier say to the customer? You're total is $27.95

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A blonde walks into a bar... Typical

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Roses are red Violets are blue TEST: Are roses red?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a shark in your apple.

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Q. How did the blind man survive from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died

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What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

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Black people are ugly. They should not live in this world. They are apes. They should live as apes not humans. Why do they have ugly curly hair, fat lips, and a big flat nose? SO UGLY!! EWW

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Q:Wats worse then cutting ur lawn A: diarea on a sunday morning

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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