Whats the worst part of your school burning down? A: The burnt pizza.

why was the frog sad..... because it had a science lesson with the year 10s about the insides of animals

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says why the long face. The horse, unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

Did the chicken cross the road? No because it was in a fenced in area like all farm animals should be

what did the mom with cancer get for christmas? radiation poisoning

how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

Girl : What's a anti joke ? Boy : it's you .

Titanic with will smith. Girl: I wont ever let go of you. Leo: Drowns. Smith: Move your fat ass over girl, there is like room for me and fifthy kids there yo! Me: Bitch if you need to float on a piece of wood where six of us could fit, im gonna drown you.

Why does life suck? Because it does

A black man found chicken on the floor. He ate it.

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

So. The gays. ...

Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

How do you survive a snow storm? Kill yourself

What did America get on the 11th September? 9/11

how do you make a mailman mad? you sleep with his wife

What do you call a black man who has become a millionare? A financhaly successful buisnessman who worked hard to be where he is today.

I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

Penis.

Knock knock Who's there? Sergeant Sergeant who? Sergeant John Clancy. I regret to inform you that Billy your son has just unfortunately been killed in the electronic fan factory in which he works.

A-B-C-D-E-F-G-R-U-D-T-F With me

--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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