whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

Your mother is so old that she is dead.

why did the chicken cross the road? i don;t know, that's why i was asking you

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Well neither has he.

Your moms so poor that when she went to buy a bag of chips, she couldn't buy the bag of chips, because she didn't have enough money to buy the bag of chips

What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

Why do jewish women like to get their sons circumcised? They like anything 25% off.

Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

Why is Steven so gay? Because hes actually Richard Simmons

No, we got to speak now, or you know, never.

Three facts 1. You are reading this. 2. You realized that is a stupid fact. 3. You are leaving because this was a stupid joke.

Why was the alcoholic unable to pass a stool when he sat down on the toilet? Because he did it on the floor.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time is irrelevant in this scenario because if this question is based in the United States it is highly unlikely an elephant will be near a fence you own, let alone sit on it, an activity rarely done by elephants and usually projected by humans onto other animals.

Two men go hunting and one has a sudden heart attack. The other man calls 911 and immediately tells the operator his location and the nature of the emergency. Rescue workers arrive on the scene in a timely manner and the man makes a full recovery.

OBAMA and the DEMOCRATS

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

A Brunette a ginger and a blonde were getting their hair done? WHich side of the bus did they sit on? Why did i put a question mark on the first part?

Roses are black Violets are black Im Helen Keller WWWHHAATTTTT!?!?

what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

Whats a Quires favorite type of sport?--- A contact sport

What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

Yo momma so ugly she looks like a penis

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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