- Anti Joke

why do girraffe's have long necks? because my foot is so far up all their asses that it hits their head, pushing it away from the body.

how do you scare a mexican? You dress up as a bar of soap.

How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

you'r mom is so fat that whenever she goes to the doctors, they are concerned about her cholesterol levels and high blood pressure.

roses are red violets are blue you know what? im sick and tired of this joke.

Q-What do you call kids who go to school? A- Students.

Why wasn't there an elevator in the rainforest? The rainforest is not capable of managing an elevator because an elevator does in fact require an energy source which is also not capable in a rainforest. The rainforest is filled with animals and is not filled with humans which would make having an elevator in the rainforest useless because the main use of an elevator is to transport humans. The animals in the rainforest would not be able to operate the elevator because using an elevator for them would be advance while humans using elevators is second nature.

What did the black guy do to the hooker, he took her dead body out of his trunk

What do a bench and a mexican have in common? (don't worry it's not racist) You'll find both in a park. (I lied)

And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

KKK

Why was the blonde girl stupid? She had suffered sever brain damage the previous month and was still recovering.

What's black, white, has green stripes and smells like eggs? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

two men are sitting in a desk next to each other learning math when the equation 22+1 came up. the frist man says to the second, "24" and they both giggled. the second guy then slips his lips over the the first guy and whispers, "hey, i just thought of something funnier than 24" to which the first replies with a slight of laughter, "lemme hear it." so the second says with laughter "25".

whats green and has wings ? a flying patch of astro turf

What is the difference between a black man and a white man? The pigment in their skin.

how do you fix a family? Someone gives in

A boy walks up to a girl and says "Do you like ice cream? Cuz I have a huuuuuge penis."

Why was six afraid of seven? because seven had diarrhea

I am reading the Terms of Service, however I don't fully agree with it's contents.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

Meow.

Why did the clown fall off the swing? He got shot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops