What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Hi.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocost

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Little girl and a pedofile walk into the woods at night. Little girl says, "mr pedofile im scared" pedofile responds " you think your scared? i have to walk out of here alone."

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Two cats were in a bathtub. They both, however, were uneasy the whole time, as it is common sense to know that cats do not like being in water.

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A man made a sandwich.

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I was walking through the woods the other day when I heard a rustle in the bushes... So I went over and said, "Russell, What are you doing in the bushes?"

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water, hydrated silica, glycerin, sorbitol, PVM/MA copolymer, sodium lauryl sulfate, flavor, cellulose gum, sodium hydroxide, propylene glycol, carrageenan, sodium saccharin, titanium dioxide all adds up to colgate. SO AS A MATTER OF FACT, CHEESE PLUS PIE IS CHICKEN. CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT I LIKE SAYING CHEESE, JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL BECAUSE THEY WERE BAGELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How are people and jelly beans similar? No one likes the black ones

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Whats the difference between ice cream and dead babies? I'm not eating ice cream right now.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swings? -Because he had no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Timmy

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

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Hearpin my durp

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Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

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Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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Do you know what is dead on the carpet ? Your mother

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Do you know what a third world bathroom smells like? Crap

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How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

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why are black people so good at basketball? because they understand the fundamentals, work hard at becoming better, and have fun playing the game/

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look in the sky! its a bird, its a plane........ Its Miles

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Q: What did the whale say to the other whale? A: MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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What is Lil Wayne's first name? Wayne

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Q: Wgat did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car? A: "Robin, get in the car"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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