Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a black guy who sells drugs? a pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What happens when you lose your fish? It dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the virgin get for her birthday? Aids

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How come Michael Jackson couldn't get into the petting zoo? It was closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

whats hard, its not what you think a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's brown, dirty, and smells like feces? Feces

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call the black president? Mr.President

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than AIDS? Buying the anti-joke book

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops