SC Johnson a Family Company

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what is the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

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Q. Why did the woman fall out of the tree? A. Cause she got laid

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

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Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Muffins can't speak therefor it said nothing.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Two Guys walk into a bar; the second one should have seen it coming.

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What's grey and can't fly? A Parking Lot.

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[Insert dumb, last minute anti-joke here]

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How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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YOU

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My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

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Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

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69

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Heath Ledger.

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Why did Martin have to retake his exams? Because Martin is a right royal Dumbass.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, your entire family has died in a terrible car accident.

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Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

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What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

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what did the homeless guy get for christmas nothing!

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A little boy ran to the pool to see how long he could hold his breath. He slipped and fractured his skull.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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