knock knock Who's there? The repo man Why? You're being evicted

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you know a French guy has been in your back yard? Your thrash cans are empty and your dog's pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you like your eggs in the morning? -Poached or Fertilised?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the squirrel late for work? Because the traffic was nuts!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo mama so fat, that when she wore a blue swimsuit to the beach and swam, the Blue Whales started sing, "WE ARE FAAMILY...EVEN THOUGH UR BUGGER THAN ME!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't the old lady take her Afghan Hound to the vet after the dog had been brutally harassed? She was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock Who's there? A very long space I see what you did there

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why cant madeleine mccann play ps3? ive only got an xbox

thumb_up thumb_down -6

guhhjghkjghjgkwefyuwefgehdfbfryfgwdfhdbfadhfbewifoyqgefhqjdbsjdkdfbnqerwifuqbdjsa wuefgeyfgdshkjjhgfiuyegfdhfbdksabnfehwbfeiofqwrypweqiryewpiryewufhdjfbxncmsbahewf bdcuhbwewhuxnyfurgbcyuiwfbewcyiubnyfeurieixybnqweircbnewociuxnbweu crbweyuicyxbreuwxcybewuoiqbyxeowucybnqweucbnowieywicybrqweiubncyqoweubnrcyuowiebno

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 was convicted of a murder, but was released due to lack of evidence, and 6 is very concerned for the protection of himself and his growing family.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When life gives you lemons, find someone with a papercut.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock Who's there? Luke Futie

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Man 1: Your lifes a joke Man 2: Your talking to yourself Man 1 klled himself Man 2 had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock Whose there? Boo I don't know anyone by the name of Boo. Go away

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the man alone? Because he was tied to a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Who gives a shit

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

how many jews can you fit in a buick? six if you squeeze 4 in the back

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

thumb_up thumb_down -6

when im sad im feel horny i rape little children -jimmy saville , last words of the diary

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What's worse than a rainy day? A:

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops