A human walked into a bar, The bartender quacked, "quack quack quack" The human wondered why all the patrons and the bartender were ducks, so he left the bar, before his head spontaneously exploded.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a shark in your apple.

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A blonde walks into a bar... Typical

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What did the cashier say to the customer? You're total is $27.95

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Why did Jesus and his friends get crucified? So they could sing: "Always look at the bright side of life" Moral: Monty Python?

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What happens when you cross an Asian with a bass guitar? An Asian man lies down diagonally across a bass guitar.

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What do you call a black kid with a backpack? I don't know.

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Q. How did the blind man survive from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family

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This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

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What's funny? At the exact moment you read this, someone is suffering from domestic abuse.

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Why does Deb wear a hat? Because she is actually bald.

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What is 9 + 10? 21

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Knock knock Who's there The police "people began to jump out the back window"

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why was the man sad? his wife died

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Why can't a blonde woman drive? because she was shot in both legs and cannot operate the pedals without extreme pain.

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What's worse than the unwarrented death of six milliion Jews? The death of six million and one Jews

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eloise dey.

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I wouldn't touch ellen degeneres with a 10 foot lance. However, i would shake her hand with my hand. Lesson: 10 foot lances are no way to touch ppl.

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A cow says moo and explodes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Clever rhyming punch line refrigerator

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Why couldnt the woman wear her new necklace? She was decapitated

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what do you get when you cross a giraffe and an octopus an abomination

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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