What did the kind hearted wolf do when he saw the small, helpless, fluffy bunny? He ate it.

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"My foot is killing me" "no, actually it's that noose around your neck"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

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Have you heard about the Polish kamikaze pilot? No, you haven't, because it would be historically and culturally incorrect.

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What's the difference between a jazz musician and a cheese pizza? A cheese pizza is a food and a jazz musician is a person.

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Mitt Romney penis

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what do a plane and a mouse have in common? nothing

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Dyeing of cancer.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Hit by a bus Why did the bus driver drop his coffee? He hit the boy

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A christian, a Jew, and a muslim walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have a good night because no one knows they are all of different religions.

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How do you get a blond to fall over? Shoot her with a shotgun.

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

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A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

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Shit!

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What's the difference between a Jew that is half Jewish and a Jew that is fully Jewish? 1/2

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TJE ELIAS, LÄGET?

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A guy walks into a bar... Ouch

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whats the difference between a rapist and a pedophile? the racist has his own whistle

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skurfboards we love fat kids

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Why did the kid fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? Because he had no legs. Knock, Knock Who's there? Not that kid.

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soccor

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a man walks into a bar... it was a crow-bar

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What's the difference between a whale and an elephant

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a pleasant evening as they talk to each other about their day over a relaxing drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops