Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

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Wow did you see stevie wonder's new house. neither has he

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Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

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Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

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What's worse than a needle in a hay stack? A needle in a stack of drug addicts.

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69

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What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

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Who livs in a pineaple under the sea? Lots of mold and bacteria

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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BenWuzHear

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he wanted to.

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What did the milk say to the oatmeal? I came from a cow nipple.

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Whats worse than purple nurples? Having the period

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What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

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Botanically speaking, cheese can't fry bagels.

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Why did the clown want a new bike? Don't ask me, clowns are allowed to want things too

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Scenario: Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub The first one says, "Hey, can you pass the radio please" And the second one replies, "Sorry, my cousins are made of soap."

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What do you call a black man driving a bus? By his name

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

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Tifa, seriously... You cannot look like the game character and have the same name! HEY I am craving for a bit of infamy, how about we claim that we is I! Which will make me seem completely pathetic for spending the whole night chatting with myself... Which is not bad at all actually...

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If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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