Why does Ron Weasley have friends? He does't. He's a ginger.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of problems with money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

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I wouldn't touch ellen degeneres with a 10 foot lance. However, i would shake her hand with my hand. Lesson: 10 foot lances are no way to touch ppl.

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What do you call somebody from Manchester? A twat

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wots brown and smells like shite shite

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do you like walffles?Yes I like walffles!

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Q: You know what you should add to your recipe? A: No, not really. Tell me. Q: What? Are you expecting an answer now? Why don't you just shoot me, huh?! Pee on my clothes and set them on fire! You racist son of an **orange**.... It certainly tastes better with oranges.

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what happened to Timmy when he fell off his bike? CANCER.

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Why was the boy stuck? He's under a tree.

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A creationist, an evolutionist, and Neanderthal Man walk into a bar. They order two beers and a glass of red wine. The bartender asks: "Will that be all?". The evolutionist says "Yes"

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Did you hear about the guy that came out the closet while at school? Yeah, Dylan Hodge is a dick.

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What does a black person use to chop a tree down? An Ask.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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What's poor and lives in Newry city council dump? Smelly mcD

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What's worse than finding out you have aids? Nothing. Actually I lied. It would suck being an illegal immigrant.

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Shut up and stop laughing, Daddy's balls aren't gonna lick themselves.

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Look, gullible is written in the sky! The man looks up and there it is.

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide, Get over it

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There were 4 black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff. The sad thing was it was a nice car.

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Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

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Did you hear about the guy who got all of his left side cut off?! He died of blood loss and permanent damage to his vital organs.

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What do you have if you have a green ball in your right hand and a green ball in your left hand? Two green balls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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