Knock knock who's there?... a stupid punchline because the door is imaginary and I am just wasting your time telling a knock knock joke

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Knock Knock! The man inside chooses not to answer the door and the caller walks away.

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Q: How many 3 go into the number 102,351? A: Yes.

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Why did the wife leave her husband? Because they were having sexual differences and time restraints. The husband worked nightshifts as a nurse while the woman stayed home and took care of their child. The husband confessed he never wanted a child in the first place, and that having sexual intercourse with her didn't truly satisfy him.

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Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, he also had no parents.

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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Leave her alone...

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An Irishman and an Englishman are in a bar. Suddenly a wild Dragonite attacks. The Englishman promptly catches the pokemon and continues to enjoy his drink with his Irish friend.

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Wow, so it is true, you are here the entire fucking time aren't you bitch? You and all "six billion of your followers of the dark", listen asshead, one thing is people asking ME when I FUCKING SIGN BOOKS (which does not happen all that FUCKING OFTEN!) Why I lead a fucking cult of sorts. Another one is having your goons stab me in the FUCKING EYE, and going "Oh I am like so sorry, please let me be the gayest I can be" People assaulting me because I use the "Moralman identity" IT IS MINE! My real FUCKING NAME IS NERO! I DON'T GO AROUND STEALING NOBODY`S SHIT!

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What's green and has wheels? a green car.

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Q: Why don't Jewish cannibals like Germans A: Because it gives them gas

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Girls got to Jupiter to get more stupider. Boys go to Mars to build a sophisticated civilization.

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What's the difference between a live baby and a dead baby? A dead baby doesn't cry.

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What's the difference between a giraffe and an erection? An erection is much easier to obtain.

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Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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how do you fit 20 babies into a bucket? you put them into a blender. how do you get them out? chips.

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What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

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tea with milk?

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Knock Knock Who's there? No one. You're imagining things.

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What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

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Why did the black guy jump over the fence ? The holocost.

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Ipod to earbuds: "hey buds" earbuds response: "sup player"

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Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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