Single man, interested in women. Profession: Particle Physicist. Looking for: A strong interaction with a strange, charming woman. One who will ride both up and down the roller-coaster of a relationship, that is not fussy about being top or bottom and that is not impartial to the many flavours of life. I look forward to you spinning me around; Yours Sub-atomically, Professor Quark.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are red, violets are red, a girl had her period in my garden.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How did the suicide bomber die? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yo momma's so fat, her lifespan is probably going to be very short and you will have to bury her soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the quarter say to the dime? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I look back at all those hours I wasted playing those stupid video games, but then I'm reminded of all those people I brutally killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happens when you click a link on a web page offering sex? You get a virus.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What's big, brown, and smell like crap? A: Turd.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A blonde walks into a bar... Typical

thumb_up thumb_down -12

knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock Who's There..... Guess who's coming Who's coming Me inside you !

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you catch a unique rabbit? You could probably find many of them in the vicinity of Chernobyl. The radiation has probably created thousands of mutations. They are probably not as fast as regular rabbits.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yeah, so I was partially right when I assumed that you joined the feds in order to make sure the past would not repeat itself huh? The underground society never broke a simple rule, a single law, it simple grew from a bunch of dopeheads, to people capable of creating nuclear weapons... Just a matter of speaking of course.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the most offensive joke you've ever heard? EVENTS: The Black Plague The 2004 Indian Ocean Earthquake and Tsunami The Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre Space Shuttle Columbia The Boston Bombing The Enron Scandal The Great Depression Hurricane Katrina The Iraq War Krakatoa Mt. Vesuvius September 11 2001 The sinking of the Titanic World War I and II PEOPLE: Adolf Hitler Al Capone Attila the Hun Ariel Castro Blackbeard Caligula Charles Manson Ed Gein Elizabeth Bathory Idi Amin Ivan the Terrible Jeffery Dahmer Josef Fritzl Josef Mengele Joseph Stalin Kim Il-sung The Ku Klux Klan Nero Osama bin Laden Pol Pot Saddam Hussein Mao Zedong The Taliban Torquemada Vlad the Impaler DISEASES: AIDS Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis Bubonic Plague Cholera Chronic Diarrhea Cystic Fibrosis Dysentery Ebola Virus Gonorrhea Herpes Leprosy Mad Cow Malaria Necrotizing Fasciitis Polio Rabies Scurvy Swine Flu Smallpox MISCELLANEOUS: Alcoholism Anorexia Nervosa and eating disorders Arson Bestiality Cannibalism Capital punishment Castration Child abuse Colonoscopies Coprophilia/phagia Drug abuse/addiction Electric torture The gassing of cats and dogs that have been abandoned Genocide Human sacrifice Identity theft Losing one's favorite childhood toy Mustard gas Necrophilia Neo-Nazism One's grandmother dying Pedophilia Racism Rape Religious intolerance Stillborn babies Suicide Walking on broken glass Working on weekends

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A Jewish man, black guy, and asian all walk into a bar. Can you guess which one got arrested? That's right, the criminal

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken god made two of every animal

thumb_up thumb_down -14

25

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the worst place to land when parachuting off an airplane? A. In the middle of an ocean B. In a war zone C. Inside an active volcano D. In a justin beiber concert

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops