What happens every 5 seconds? An African kid dies.

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whats worse than hitler? Anti-Jokes By darragh hamilton

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Janey Had her first kiss with Jonny. Jonny choked on her ridiculously large was of gum and died.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

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what do you call a homeless man? poor.

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A gay man came out 5 years ago, he also has not heard his farts since... He lost his ears in a boating accident that same year

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Antijoke the book. Seriously it sucks ass, do not bother, they only included the very worst ones.

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Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

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3 friends are out camping. One says to the other "It sure is a great day to go fishing." The other says "Yes indeed." The third one says "I agree." After a few minutes of hiking, they go to lake and begin fishing.

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Your Momma's so ugly, she went to the grocery store, and went she got out of her car, people said, "You're ugly."

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Why did the koahla fall out of the tree? It died.

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If an illegal immigrant fought a child molester, is it Alien vs. Predator?

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That's why her hair is so big, she teases it and uses a lot of expensive products.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Youre in your car, and you stop at a light you see a home less person holding a sign that says "Home less and hungry, anything helps." You ask if they want a box of cereal, "No thanks." They replied, you ask why not? "Well, I really just want to go to the movies."

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"Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?" said the little girl. "I don't know", said the mother," we were robbed of all our money and posessions. And your father was killed while we were gone.

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Why was the black man scared of the chainsaw? Because his father was killed by one when he landed on it when he fell of his ladder that was holding him up while he was cutting the limbs of a tree.

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Why did the white girl have a black friend? Because she was very welcome to different races and wanted to learn about her culture.

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Yo momma's so fat she is now a sponsor for Jenny Craig after joining the program and loosing almost a 100 pounds. So I suppose she isn't too fat anymore.

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A woman was at a family reunion and her husband's mother walked in. She has a chocolate allergy so the woman says the her husband,"I need more chocolate!"

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What do you do when a taco eater eats your food? Beat him with the nearest black man's dick.

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What's brown and sticky? The british econonic system from 2 May 1997 to 27 June 2007.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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