What do you call a black kid with dead parents? Depressed

Holocaust jokes are not funny. My Grandpa died in the Holocaust... He fell off of the guard tower.

Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

A fish finds that his fishbowl is on fire. He escapes the bowl only to realize he is equally screwed.

An Englishmen, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, and ordered a beer. They later went home and slept. They woke up the next morning with a slight hangover.

Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

What do you call a Mexican on a boat? A sailor

What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

Roses are red-ish Violets are blue-ish If it weren't for Jesus we'd all be jewish

It's a man's 100th birthday, and as one of his last wishes he wants to go skydiving. Unfortunately, due to his crippling arthritis, he was unable to pull the rip cord on his parachute and plummeted to his death.

What do you call a pig with one eye? A pig.

*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

FUCK YOU NEVEN

why'd the baby cross the road it was stapled to the chicken

How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

Why did the chicken cross the road? why? Womens rights

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I thought I was ugly But then I met you

Roses are Grey Violets are Grey lolololol Im a dog

How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

What's brown and sticky? Poo.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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