If I was a regular squirrel, I would be pissed at flying squirrels.

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Let's go burn down an orphanage, what are they gonna do tell their parents?

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Yo mama is so hot that she needed to lower the temperature

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If the 49ers won the superbowl

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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Never tell Alzheimer's jokes to old people. They will not remember them.

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Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

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Knock knock Who's there? You're adopted.

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How much Cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? A lot!

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WNBA

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An Ethiopian field worker goes into work one day and finds out he was fired. Agriculture in Ethiopia is bad because it doesn't rain much.

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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whats worse than your computer crashing? your plane crashing...twice

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How do you stop a black guy from drowning? You take your foot off of his face

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why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my D***

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Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so are you, but the rose are wilted the violets are dead the sugar is lumpy and so is your head.

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what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

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What do you get when you put white cheese in a blender and turn it on? White cheese.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nothing. Earlier that day his vocal chords were ripped out by an angry chimpanzee. He will never speak again

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fack me in the ace! CC

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Penal Dysfunction

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This is not mean't to be a joke, but I have noticed the least popular thing on here is the Jew and the Pizza joke. I am Jewish and find this extremely offensive. I applaud all of those who gave it a negative vote and realize the Holocaust is not a laughing matter.

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What do you get when you cross a Kangaroo with a sheep? A: That would be impossible for it is impossible to breed a kangaroo and a sheep due to their difference in genetic material and number of chromosomes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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