What did grandma receive for her 75th birthday? Alzheimer's.

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White people talk like this 'HEY' Black people talk like this 'YO' Hundreds of thousands died in the civil war.

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whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

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A: Knock Knock! B: Who's There? A: I Am...

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Your mom is so cheap, that she eats her cereal with a fork to save milk

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Why doesn't the South Pole war veteran remember the name of his child? He is a penguin and could care less about naming his children. Why doesn't the penguin on the North Pole remember the name of his child? There are no penguins on the North Pole.

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what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

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What did my Grandmother get for Christmas? Alzheimer's.

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What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

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Q: why id the bird fly away from the boy? A: cuz he was scared

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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what did the boy say to the girl? make me a sandwich.

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Roses are red Violets are red Shit My garden's on fire?

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What do you call a hard working black man? A hard working black man.

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Why'd the duck cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The duck.

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was unaware that it could get run over by a motor vehicle.

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How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

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There is a man with the surname of Westmoreland. This is a terrible name.

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Why didn't Steve finish his homework? He didn't want to.

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Why did the asian man crash into the stop sign? Because there was a frog stapled to his face.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What's spotted and has dildos strapped to their neck? Jews

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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