What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar... they sit down, have a deep and meaningful conversation about theism, and don't really drink anything.

*you're

I lost my tractor.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing duplicates of the top jokes.

I get no respect at all. That's because I am a liar and a thief with no redeeming qualities.

If a tree falls in a neigheorohood lots of people hear it.

Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who took a shit in my garden?

Why can't Sally ride a bike? Because Sally's a fish.

Luckily Captain America was able to rescue Hitler just before he was trapped in the ice for many years... Thanks to his brave efforts the war continued many more years! Captain America under ice: Why do I get the feeling I did something wrong? Hmm... 30 years later Cap: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMNNNNNN!!!!!! Moral: On ice, tickets sold out... no clothing required, ladies only, None under 16!

Me: Why are red onions actually purple..? Dad: I don't know Sister: *sarcastic* Well, Why is it rainy in London? Me: ....Because that's the weather pattern.

Knock Knock Who's there? DC Soames. I'm arresting you for the suspected abduction and rape of Holly Harman.

What's green and has wheels? A green car.

the comment about daniel was fron brock

the meaning of life is too burn calories so I burnt a fat kid?

Two men drove their car of a cliff. They died.

a man walks into a bar... it was a crow-bar

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

Yo mamas so fat

What is big, white and hairy A refrigerator, I lied about the hair

It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

A cup of ranch walks into a lemon

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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