When life gives you lemons... wait that wont happen

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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So this guy comes into a bar... Jizz eveywhere.

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Q: How do you make a cat bark? A: Douse it in gasoline and throw it in a fire.........WOOF!!!!

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Why did the black man skip every other step on the stairs? Because he had long legs and it was faster.

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row row row your boat gently down the stream rape

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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What did Winnie the Pooh say to Eeyore? Nothing, he just suffocated him in a pot of honey.

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Why did your mom cross the street? She didn't. She was a home. Making me a sandwhich.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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So Jimmy's phsycology teacher is trying to think of beginnig lessons for her phsycology class. so she gets up and says "class, i want u anyone who thinks they are stupid to stand up." nobody stood up. then Jimmy stands up. The teacher says "Jimmy, u think u are stupid?" Jimmy replies "No, i just felt bad with u standing up all alone."

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1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

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Gary: How many sides does a triangle have? Juan: 2? Gary: Nope, it's 3, nice try

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What do you call two dead blondes? A terrible day for their families and for many more to come

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I'll give you a nickel to lick my pickle, a dime to take your time and a quarter if I can f*ck you in the ass

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And love is, bein' the owner of a company that makes rape whistles and even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape, now you don't wanna reduce it at all cuz if the rape rate declines you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales. Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles? Who's gonna buy your whistles? Love is all about whistles.

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How do you make a baby cry? You punch him him the gut and slap him multiple times.

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Boy:well you merry me. Girl:no Boy: why not? Girl:becuase you're rapeing me

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What did the the boy get from his grandma for Christmas. Nothing. she died a week ago.

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And I want you like Anne Frank wanted ... nobody to read her diary. Cuz, like a diary is a collection of secret things that no one else reads, that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people have breached this little girl's privacy after she was chased by Nazis. Kick her while she's down.

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What time is it when grandpa sits ontop of a telephone pole and throws pineapples at people? Time to go to a nursing home

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Ham sandwich

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Your dad is so bald, that a various number of people compliment him on how well shaven his head is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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