Why can't Anne Frank drive? Because she's dead.

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What is the difference between your mom and a cow? One is a 1,500 pound beast, and one is a human being.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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3 Mormon men walk by a blonde woman eating a banana. They are not distracted by this and continue their journey of spreading Christianity.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar

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how do you kill a blonde? hit her in the back repeatedly with a crowbar

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yo mommas so ugly that everyone died.

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Why did the boys uncle stop calling him? His uncle died of cancer 3 months ago.

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I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

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Not mine I want no credit...these were made by two genius's What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than the holocaust? Getting raped by a giant scorpion.

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why did the white man jump out of the car? because the car was crashing

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile "robin, get in the batmobile"

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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Q: What do you call a black guy with an air plane? A: A pilot you racist bastard!

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Whats sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going off a cliff? A Caddy fits five.

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Boy: If you didn't have feet, would you wear socks? Girl: No. Boy: Then why do you wear a bra?

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Why did it take so long for the baby's to paint my wall? I didn't throw them hard enough.

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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Hi.

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What is long and hard that a bride gets on her wedding night? An erect penis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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What did the overweight blind kid get for Christmas? His parents died in a tragic car crash and he was left alone, fat and blind to fend for himself

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What happened to your face? I walked into a tree

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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