How do you kill a retard? Pour gasoline on him and light him on fire.

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Badgers are cool

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Me: Sometimes I like to talk to myself. Me: So do I.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a women. Statutory rape.

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"jrfevkhbgjk" said the retard.

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What did the devil say to the baby with four arms? I am evil.

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Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

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A serial killer kills a family of 5 He is never found and eventually kills himself from depression

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Why was the white man rich and the black man poor? Because when the white man was 11 and he didn't have a job because 11 year olds don't get hired, because its not legal, he use to pick up pennies. And when the black man was 11 he got a job mowing lawns and ended up being a lawyer graduate and spent the rest of his life paying off his school loan. The white man lived in the 70's and the black man lived in he twentieth century.

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This is you cat This is just cat This is wasted cat This is your cat This is time cat This is reading cat This is this cat Now read the third word of every sentance

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knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Hello, I'm a Jehovah's Witness and I would like to talk to you about religion for a few minutes. B: Thank you, but I'm not interested. A: OK, thank you for your time, sir. B: You're quite welcome. Good day. A: Have a nice afternoon. B: You too. Bye A: Ba-bye.

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What's black and makes me food? A microwave.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a horse? The horse has no shell.

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Whats worse then getting caught watching porn? 9/11

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What is woman spelled backwards? namow.

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Person A - I farted Person B - YUCK

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4

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Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mothers funeral.

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Why couldnt the kid see the pirate movie? Because he didn't have eyes.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Nevermind, that was a stupid question.

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Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The bartender says ok, then hands him a pistol, then the man shoots the bartender and kills him.

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Whats big, hard, and in my pants? A tumor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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