Republicans

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What happened to the short kid on april 30th: His girlfriend broke up with him

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Q: What do you call a black man in space? A: An astronaut. -Ap

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Anthony Dephillips is handsome

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Why cant you find your handle? Because YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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Why did the chicken go up the car? To get a drink.

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Spell: “This word”

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What is brown and gurgles? dead baby casserole

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean? Dead.

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John is typing... *2 seconds later" John: Hi

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whats white and lives in a tree a fridge

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Why can't Sally ride a bike? Because Sally's a fish.

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you just contradicted yourself.

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When crossing the river, why the old lady die? She was hit by a falling brick that fell from an airplane.

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What does WTF stand for? Welcome to Facebook!

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Why did Martin have to retake his exams? Because Martin is a right royal Dumbass.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because Suzy had no arms.

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So joe diragi walks out of a gay bar...

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whats green and has wings ? a flying patch of astro turf

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What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies? My wife didn't cheat on me in a pile of dead babies.

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A christian, a Jew, and a muslim walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have a good night because no one knows they are all of different religions.

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What did the midget get for Christmas? A new watch and a gift card for Applebee's.

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What happens when you stab yourself in the heart? You die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops