why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

how do u know when your in west virginia? when the houses have more wheels than the cars

Al Kida and Terry Wrist walk out of jail.

An atheist walks into a church

What was the tallest mountain before Mount Everest was discovered? Mount Everest

What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

what is a model plus a poop plus a rhino plus a flamingo a peice of floob split in half or a shelby koon

A priest and rabbi walk into a bar, they order a few drinks, then call a cab to go home.

Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

ok so there was a black guy a white guy and an asian in a bar.so the asian guy says lets leave and they all exited the bar.

What is black, white and red all over? A black, white and red pen.

what do a fish and wood have in common? when they're dead, they float

What did Little Jojo get for Hanukah? Nothing he is Muslim.

two penguins are sitting in a bath tub. one penguin says, "hey, can you hand me the soap?" the other penguin says, "what do i look like, a typewriter?"

why did helen cellars dog runway. you would to if ur name was ujujujujjujujujujujj

I just met you! And this is crazy! I just took bath salts, and yor face looks tasty!

what did the farmer say to the cowgirl that made her positive that she had a weird laugh? you have a weird laugh.

What do you call Americas first black president? A change.

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you f***ing racist.

What do you call a black man holding a pistol? A black man holding a pistol

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

Everyone knows a sandwich made with bacon, lettuce, and tomato is a BLT, but what do you call a sandwich made with tomato, bacon, and lettuce? A BLT.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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