Why did the plan crash? Because the pilot was a potato

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Why did the man have an erection? He had just masturbated.

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How do you find a date? Look on the calendar!

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Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

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How did the mermaid break her arm? She fell out of a tree.

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Whats the difference between a pontiac and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a pontiac in my garage.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Oh, then I'm not opening the door.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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your father died

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Roses are red Violets are fin I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I beat my family.

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(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

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People could crack eggs but Chuck Norris could crack chickens.

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Jeff goes to the store, Helen Keller.

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Why are black people so good at sports? They practice.

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-Ask me if i'm a crab. -Are you a crab? -No, why would i be a crab?

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What did the bungee jumper say to his wife? Honey, I'm going bungee jumping today.

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Albert and Hunter, Forever in love < 3

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

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how do you make your mom mad? mushroom stamp her face

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GAME OVER!!!!!! OF COURSE!!!!!! I BEHELD AS SATAN FELL FROM THE SKY..: LIKE LIGHTNIIIIIIIIIIIING! Street Fighter 2: The (antijoke) Movie. Moral: Raul Julia, you are the man, rest in peace dude you made that movie a masterpiece, do not give this a thumbs up for me, but for the most brilliant performance he ever gave.

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what's red and smells like blue paint? im color blind

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Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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