How do you feed a mockingbird? Give it some food.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

A guy trips a blind man.

What do you get if you cross a banana, a mango, and an apple? A smoothie

What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm colorblind.

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It was dead.

Two Penn-State Advisors walk into a butt.

Where do 4 Mexicans in a car go? In the Car Pool lane.

I walked into a bar and it hurt because it was metal

why are you people on anti-joke? BECAUSE you have NO LIFE !

What do u call two mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan!

Knock Knock Whos there? Jonny Jonny who? Jonny tsunami, hope you can swim Japan

I'm banging your sister.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because its a horse and cant speak or understand english and gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables and stools.

Q: What is wrong on many different levels? A: Rape on an elevator.

A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!! Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!!

I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

What's worse than missing Taco Tuesday? Your whole family dying in a car crash.

Did you hear about the guy who fell out of the stands at the ranger game? He died.

Why did the plane crash and everybody die on board? The plane crashed because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

did you hear about the man who crossed the road? he made it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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