Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

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if x marks the spot, what does y do? y does the laundry.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Because I'm colorblind

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Apparently he can walk now.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Dr. Fishbourne Dr. Fishbourne? Yea, I've come to inform you that your son has committed suicide due to lack of parental care and love.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm colorblind.

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Q: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A: 14

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how many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? one and a ladder

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Knock, knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest!

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That's not what she said.

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twilight

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Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: 9/11 jumpers 200 stories in 5 seconds

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A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

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Why did the plane crash? There was a horrible mechanical error that caused the main engines to fail.

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What is shaped like a duck without a beak? A duck that I punch the beak off of.

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a donkey? a mule

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A grandmother in her late seventies is walking to the grocery store. Then out of nowhere,she stats getting pelted by bananas. One hits her hard on the head,and she dies.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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muffled-thud muffled thud who's there? Jeremy Beadle.

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0 + 0 = 0

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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