Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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Why did the girl fall off a cliff? Because it was an Anti-Joke.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had just been to their father's funeral, who was a Welshman.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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Can you say the word "toy boat" 10 times fast? No

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? If you know the answer then you should probably stop sniffing paint.

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Q: Why is the earth round? A: I am Batman.

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Hey I just met you And I am crazy So I will kill you And eat your body

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What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

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When life gives you melons, youre probably dyslexic.

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whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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A mormon walks into a bar. He orders a caffeine free Coke.

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what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

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girls basketball

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What did one potato say to the other. Let's get baked!( hope u dont mind that this isnt a anti-joke well i dont know what it is so sue me)

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How do you make a black man sad? You kill and mutilate his family maliciously

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I like poo F*** on You By drew bolton

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matty russel are you on here

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being pulled behind a boat? A: Skip.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you dirty racist.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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