What is the answer to the universe? I would tell you but you would get board.

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What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head engage in a discussion on World politics. The brunette says she would like to see politicians paying more attention to the environment. The red head says she would like to see improvements in the economy. The blonde says she has to poop.

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Whats worse than a paper cut? Nine/Eleven

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None.

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A man was driving five penguins across the Croatian-Serbian border. He was a penguin smuggler.

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Have you heard the one about the three tailed salamander that fell off a bridge? I haven't either.

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Where's my tractor?

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Q:why did the boy fall off the swing A:he had no arms Q:why couldn't he get up A:he had no legs Q:why did he die A:he fell in a puddle

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A kid walks into a bar. The bartender promptly calls child protective services and the child is placed in a caring foster home.

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How many Jew can you fit in a car? As many as the car seats comfortably.

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roses are red violets are blue bannas are yellow so is my wife

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Kathy Griffin.

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A Black man a Chinese man and a Jew walk in to a bar. Black man: nice place they got here Asian man: yeah I remember when it used to be that old hardware store Jew: Henry's, i think it was called Aisian man: must have been there for at least 10 years or so

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

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how did hitler fit 100 Jews in his car??? he couldn't, his car only fits 5 people.

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knock knock who's there? no one, but I appreciate the fact you asked.

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what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

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A man walked into a bar, was surprised to find his wife with another man, and had a heart attack.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a whale sit down at a bar. The priest says to the bartender, "Jesus Christ is our savior." The rabbi responds, "No. Our savior has not yet been born." To which the whale adds, "MMMUUURRRAAAAAAOOOUUU!!!"

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What did the camera man say when the actor took off his pants? Why did you take off your pants?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was John Elway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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