Strawberries!

How do you hold someone in suspense?

what rhymes with sloth? -RaPe-

Penis

What's the difference between a catcher's mitt and Lou Ferrigno? If you seriously said "I don't know, what?" I suggest getting a medical examination by a professional psychologist.

If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

Out on the playground of a school, extremely young kids are acting as living witness to an audacious thing. They're watching a very interesting display of strength and brutality. They're observing a enactment of lofty potential and great might. What're they watching? They're regarding their principal getting promptly arrested by the federal police for possession of technically illegal weaponry including, but not only limited to what looked like to them: peculiar "fire crackers" and reloadable "candy dispensers". In the ensuing battle, their principal got shot in the arm and a random pedestrian got killed by a stray bullet. In the end, the cruel joke's on them. Guess what? They're irrepairably damaged for the rest of their life.

A dog and a bird are sitting in the front yard of a small suburban community. The bird turns to the dog and says nothing, because birds lack the ability to speak. The dog then reaches down and slowly consumes the bird before returning to his house.

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Why was the ginger walking around in bare feet? He had no sole.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They were baked until the baker them until they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

A caterpillar walks into a bar. I don't know how he opened the door.

Hellooooo whos there? Its me fred Fred? A Canadian

What is white and is sometimes drunk? Milk.

What's long, hard, and wet? A difficult college exam that fell in a puddle of water

"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" "It's who's." The grammar nazi has struck again.

Q. How did the blind man survive from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died

How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

What's the difference between a duck? One of its feet are both the same.

Two men and a woman jump out of a plane. They forgot their parachutes and all died.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

Why weren't there any black people at the book sale? Black people don't read.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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