A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldnt she get up? She had no legs. Knock Knock. Whos There? Not Suzie

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What happened to the man who jumped into a puddle? He contracted hypothermia due to the low temperatures of the water. He died the next day.

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What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

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What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

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A jewish lady is cleaning a house to make some extra money. Its great that she can still find work in this economy.

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Why did carly drop her groceries Carly is a cow

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What is red and does not cry? Half a baby.

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An Irishman and an Englishman are having a heated conversation about Rugby in a pub. Another Irish comes to the pub.. He is promptly given a bar stool and menu so that he can order.

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--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

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How do you know your sister is on her period? - Your dad´s dick tastes like blood.

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there are two kinds of people in this world: those who like anit jokes and those who don't

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A kid walks into a ctholic school and asks about the therory of evolution.

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whats funny? laughing at people when they die a slow and painful death.

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Roses are red my name is Dave this poem makes no sense, micorwave

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Justin Bieber got laid

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple...

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What happend when 1 second past after 7:00 am? It was still 7:00 am.

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vbh

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What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

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what do you call a man who makes fun of womens rights? Single

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What is Kanye West's main goal in life? To crush the hopes and dreams of singing stars on national television, beginning with Taylor Swift.

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Why doesnt the ladder work? A ladder is an inaminent object therefore imcapable of having a job.

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What's the difference between red paint and blue paint? One looks like blood and is used a lot in restaurants. The other is blue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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