- Anti Joke

What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women? The letter containing their bank card, the letter containing their national insurance card and the letter accepting them into a job or higher education placement.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

Q. What did the fat guy get for his birthday? A. diabetes

What will happen if your heart skips 10 beats? Nothing. You're dead.

When life throws you lemons what should you do? Take cover.

banana

A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

What's the difference between a girl's mouth and her vagina? There is none. I want my penis to be inside both of those things.

what did Santa Claus say to Nikki Minaj? I really admire your musical talents

Hey I just met you And I am crazy So I will kill you And eat your body

Why was the black man scared of the chainsaw? Because his father was killed by one when he landed on it when he fell of his ladder that was holding him up while he was cutting the limbs of a tree.

Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

You're so gay you actively seek homosexuals relationships.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Triceratops

What do u call a guy makin dinner? Gay.

roses are red violets are blue im in class

Why was the boy wearing pyjamas? It was his bed time.

yo mama so fat, her favorite food is seconds.

How do you kill a dinosaur with a spoon? You cant because they are extinct creatures

How do you make a baby cry? You punch him him the gut and slap him multiple times.

your mumma so fat she stepped on the weight scales and it says to be continued

Two black men jump off a cliff, who wins? Wins what?

Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.