I have Alzheimer. What?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why don't NBA basketball players shake hands after a game like players in NHL hockey...? ...Because it's a tradition in then NHL.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a man with no arms? A cripple.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I've done a lot of soul searching, and.... I've realized.... the & symbol really looks like a man dragging his butt on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

- Knock knock - Those knock jokes are getting old - Indeed. Scratch scratch - MY DOOR

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

thumb_up thumb_down +22

how many babies does it take to paint a house? that is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red Violets are blue your mum went to the loo and out came you

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's sad about the Holocaust? well i don't know ,it may or may not have anything to do with you and cause absolutely no sad emotions toward the subject. I for one don't care.........

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do a fish and wood have in common? when they're dead, they float

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: Because of Kevin Spacey's chilling performance.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidize her drug habit.'

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A Woman decides she wants to stop making sanwiches for her sexist boyfriend. She walks away and lives a happy life. In hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's 17 times worse than a 3? I don't know, personally I don't think 3's are so bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why do the piglets have their heads down low? Because they are ashamed that their mom is fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Yo momma is so fat, that she is not able to wear the clothes she wore the previous year.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops