What Makes Me Smile? Face Muscles.

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Why did little Lucy climb up a tree? Cos her dad beats her.

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A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

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what do you call a blonde that spends fifteen thousand dollars at a bar? an alchoholic.

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Mrs. Welsh

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They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

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What do you call a black man yelling into a crowd? a preacher

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Kesley Ioannou not shopping.

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What is white and is sometimes drunk? Milk.

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What's the difference between vanilla ice cream and vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips? Neither one has vanilla ice cream in it except for both of them.

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An Irishman, a homosexual and a Jew walk into a bar. Paddy's really exploring his options lately.

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What bug has eight legs? Not a spider.

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Ask me if I'm a tree... Are you a tree? No.

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A panda bear walks into a bar. The bartender then alerts the zoo of the whereabouts of their missing panda.

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There once was a man from Kentucky...then he raped everyone in sight... THE END

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What is worse then North Korea trying to blow up everybody? Peter Griffin twerking.

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I went river dancing once. I fell in

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What looks like a dick? A penis

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What do you call someone too young to drink? A minor

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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how did the monkey fall out of the tree he was stupid how did the monkey get a black eye he was hit by a bus how did the monkey end up in the sewer he got hit by another bus

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What does Batman say to scare Robin? Don't make me get the bat!

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why did the man tell a joke? to make people laugh

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what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops