- Anti Joke

My bologna has a first name It's O-S-C-A-R... My bologna has a second name It's M-A-Y-E-R... Oscar and Mayer were the names of the pig and the cow that were slaughtered and subsequently processed into the bologna I am eating.

This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

YO MAMMA IS SO STUPID, she was recently diagnosed with severe mental retardation and will have to be cared for 24/7

What do you call a group of black people? You don't You call the cops first.

Q: What did the Mexican kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't want to.

Chuck Norris didn't rape yo mama, yo mama raped chuck norris!

what did Santa Claus say to Nikki Minaj? I really admire your musical talents

What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

Why did the Chicken commit suicide Because he Ms. Reed

What did Helen Keller say to a stranger at a party? I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree, wrote several books, traveled to over 39 countries, and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, one of the United States' highest two civilian honors, from President Lyndon B. Johnson.

How did the Jew his German neighbor? Every morning the Jew says hello and the German replys hello

This is a funny anti-joke. But you probably don't get it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

What do you call a pakistani with a backpack on a plane? A passenger with ordinary hand luggage

Patrick- hey spongebob i thought of something even funnier then 24 Spongebob- What patrick- 25

I added ICE to WKD it was WICKED

A- Knock Knock B- Who's there? A- Soccer!

What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana. Go away.

What do you call a black thing hanging from a tree A tire swing

Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.