What do you call a penguin in the desert? A penguin.

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Want to hear it again?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a registered six affender.

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Why did the kid stop going to school? His alarm clock broke.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis

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How do you make a Hispanic man sad? Answer: steal everything he has until he has nothing

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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What did I eat for my breakfast? My breakfast.

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Where does lady gags buy her bran flakes ? Sainsburys

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One morning a man was frustrated at the dining table. His wife ask "What's wrong?". He says "I can't fit this stupid puzzle pieces together." His wife asks "What's it a picture of?" The man says "A rooster" The wife says "Honey, put the cornflakes back in the cereal box." The man says "no".

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What do you call a man who laughed at a joke that wasn't funny? A man who gets amused at the littlest things.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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Q: Whats worse than a dead baby in a bag? A: Please just make my hamburger.

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A cow walks into a store. The clerk asks "how may i help you sir?" The cow says "Im a cow stupid!" and storms out.

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Why couldn't the baby boy read the book? He had eye cancer and was therefore blind.

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What's the difference between a table lamb? A fishing pole, automobiles are very useful

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kid: can i go to the bathroom? teacher: you have to say the alphabet first. kid: ugh. fine. a.b.c.d.e.f.g.h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.q.r.s.t.u.v.w.x.y.z teacher: what happened to the p? the kid bows his head in shame sits back down as the entire class laughs at him.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door.

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Q: What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A: A pool table

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hi patrick

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What do a Jew and a Vegan have in common? They both won't eat pork products.

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Person 1: Why do eskimos wash their clothes in tide? Person 2: It works very well.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems Nice tits

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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