Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

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No. Yes.

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What did the black cat say to the tabby cat?? Meow

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Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

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What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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pineapples

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? There are many, no human being is exactly alike.

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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Wade

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There is a bird and a squirrel in a tree. Later, as a farmer walked past, the squirrel ate the bird.

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What is the difference between a black guy and shit? One just looks and smells like shit, and the other actually is shit.

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Yeah its just my way of saying that I appreciate you worrying so much about me, you are a sweet girl, Honestly I do not understand why the hell you guys are using Horsehead AntiJoke out of all places, there are far more terrible forgettable sites available, I mean this sites connection suddenly went from disgustingly terrible to fine and dandy, the Feds, the Interpol and even fucking Al Qaeda might be reading every single message, but there is no way in hell anyone can decipher the code format, if they could, they would have done it when I invented it sixteen years ago, Myself mind you, nothing subtle about me today apparently.

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Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Nothing really

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What's the difference between a cake and Jews? A cake comes out of the oven.

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what did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur nothing dinosaurs can't talk

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

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Whats worse than 12 babys stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 12 trees!

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anti jokes aren't always funny on here

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How do you get an asian out of a rice field? Napalm.

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A man runs over a woman with his car, whose fault was it? The woman's for trying to cross the street in the dark without a crosswalk.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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