What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? There are many, no human being is exactly alike.

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Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

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Yeah its just my way of saying that I appreciate you worrying so much about me, you are a sweet girl, Honestly I do not understand why the hell you guys are using Horsehead AntiJoke out of all places, there are far more terrible forgettable sites available, I mean this sites connection suddenly went from disgustingly terrible to fine and dandy, the Feds, the Interpol and even fucking Al Qaeda might be reading every single message, but there is no way in hell anyone can decipher the code format, if they could, they would have done it when I invented it sixteen years ago, Myself mind you, nothing subtle about me today apparently.

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There is a bird and a squirrel in a tree. Later, as a farmer walked past, the squirrel ate the bird.

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What is the difference between a black guy and shit? One just looks and smells like shit, and the other actually is shit.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

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Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Nothing really

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what did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur nothing dinosaurs can't talk

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One time i ate a hamberger than an hour later i sneezed but i dont think it had anything to do with the hamberger.

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What's the difference between a cake and Jews? A cake comes out of the oven.

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*insert joke here*

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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A man runs over a woman with his car, whose fault was it? The woman's for trying to cross the street in the dark without a crosswalk.

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anti jokes aren't always funny on here

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How do you get an asian out of a rice field? Napalm.

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What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

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Whats worse than 12 babys stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 12 trees!

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An Irishman walks out of a bar...

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Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock? who's there? not sally.

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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<3 ... it looks more like scissors than a heart...

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How does a gay take his pants off? Just like everybody else

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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